whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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