In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
