Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
you had me at cake vodka
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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