Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
