There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
