It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
