It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
