There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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