Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize