I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
