You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
