no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
