Plan B is the new Plan A
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Houston, we have a blender
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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