i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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