I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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