im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
