my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How does one acquire holy water?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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