drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize