he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
