bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
