Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize