If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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