sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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