I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize