AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
