I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
