I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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