i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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