my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
