I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
