I think I am morally bankrupt
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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