I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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