This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
