Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
