just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
