I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize