You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
