Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
