I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
