Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
