I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
