I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
