the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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