I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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