Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
