...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
