I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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