I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
