he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just found puke in my bra..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
