yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
