I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
