i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm like, not good at living.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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