Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
