Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
