Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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