Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
