You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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