im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
