Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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