I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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