Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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