there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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