i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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