did you get engaged???
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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