Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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