people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize