Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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