did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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