i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
