@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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