areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
