I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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