I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
